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Which Comes First?
Tuesday, December 09th, 2008 | Author: resqr1968

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.”
George MacDonald

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Category: Quotes
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10 Comments

  1. 1
    resqr1968 

    To me, it is a far greater compliment & committment to trust, than to love. I can think of several individuals, myself included, who have people whom they love, such as family members, but can not trust. Yet, so many feel as if trust should be an automatic feeling or privelidge extended. I can not fathom this, as to me it is far easier to love someone than to grant unquestioned trust. If most accept love does not generally happen overnight, is it hard to embrace that trust is built over a long period of time as well? As the length of connection builds & develops, so will the trust grow.

  2. 2
    resqr1968 

    Trust

    noun
    1 a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b: one in which confidence is placed
     
    2 a: dependence on something future or contingent: hope b: reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered: credit
     
    3 a: a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another b: a combination of firms or corporations formed by a legal agreement; especially: one that reduces or threatens to reduce competition
     
    4 archaic: trustworthiness
     
    5 a (1): a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2): something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another b: responsible charge or office c: care, custody
     
    Merriam Webster Dictionary
  3. 3
    KEB 

    Amen

  4. 4
    LdyBelle 

    Agreed!

    I strongly believe that the foundations in any relationship is trust, honesty and communication.. Any problem can lead back to one of those three lacking…

    Love is important of course, but it’s not enough… Trust is something that shouldn’t be expected nor given away friviously.. But earned…

    Once that trust is broken, it is very hard and sometimes impossible to get it back.. It’s really never the same…

    I too only know a small few that I would trust completely with my life and those who I love may or may not be on that same list…

    Good post!

  5. 5
    markross 

    Yes indeed, very good post!
    –

    Different relationships certainly require different levels of trust and love; as well as expectations that we, as humans, tend to attach to each relationship.

    As it relates to a relationship, whether it be marriage or a significant other, I would agree with LdyBelle..

    “Once that trust is broken, it is very hard and sometimes impossible to get it back.. It’s really never the same”…

    At least with the same person that betrayed your trust. Also, communication tends to be the root of “so” many problems, globally; not just in relationships. I have found that the break down of communication, is often the root of all evil, in most relationships.

    It is certainly an interesting thought; in a healthy relationship, it would seem as though love needs to follow trust; it also begs the question: what are we entrusting the other with? Also, can we be certain that this level of trust will always remain?

    Perhaps, first, we all need to trust, and love ourselves, before we can trust, and love others.

    Thank you for that!
    Mark

  6. 6
    resqr1968 

    Well many thanks for each of your affirmations on that!

    Ldybelle-I agree with your foundations on a relationship. I am also a big believer in building a good foundation for the relationship to stand on, slowly, over rushing through it, to merely proclaim you have one, especially if it is built on a faulty foundation.

    Trust needs to be earned for me. Honesty isn’t always easy, but it is essential ingredient needed for the making of any relationship.

    Communication I believe is where there is a bit of work involved when building a relationship. If people are committed to the process, it gets easier with time.

    Mark- I agree in that the varying forms of relationships change the terms of the ingredients. However, I feel regardless of the relationship or caliber of the persons involved, there should be no expectation of trust until it has been proven. As the relationship grows & builds, so would that expected level of trust.

    What we entrust is a matter of the relationship & how serious in nature it is at any given point.

    Have a great day !

  7. 7
    understone 

    One thing to consider is that according to the definition of “trust”, we can trust in things.  This trust is often earned by consistent favorable and predictable results.  I’m not sure if I view being trusted — something that can be had in objects - is a better compliment.   Also, trust is usually something that is earned.  Although it may be flattering to hear somebody point it out, chances are that you are trusted for a reason – because of things you did.  Being trusted is often just a result of certain behavior and action performed by the person being trusted.  In that sense, trust really isn’t a compliment.  

     Love is generally reserved for people.   In the grand scheme of things, love is everywhere and ideally we should see it in all things.  In practice however, we are biased beings and we filter emotions.  We love some and not others.  You could say that due to this preference some afford to others that some may see this as the greater compliment. 

  8. 8
    markross 

    Hi understone!
    Of course, the posted quote is one man’s feelings at a given time, or event in his life.
    Without knowing the complete context of his quote, it is very hard to know what he, specifically, was thinking. I think that it is really interesting that a posted quote can spur on a conversation, among people and friends.

    “Being trusted is often just a result of certain behavior and action performed by the person being trusted.  In that sense, trust really isn’t a compliment”.

    I like your definition of trust, and agree with it fully; over time, and with a certain patterns of behavior, we can begin to put our trust into another person; that is until we are given a reason not to, otherwise. I would agree, I don’t necessarily see it as a compliment, however, at the same time, if a good friend has trust in me, that is sort of a compliment, as they are affixing a positive attribute to my friendship (relationship) with them.

    Mark

  9. 9
    understone 

    I guess I see it as appreciation in that they noticing your behavior and pointing it out.  I see essentially as acknowledgment of effort and behavior and some people like when others point it this out and are observant of it.  Trust can be manipulated to be obtained and even broken but true love cannot be.

  10. 10
    markross 

    Understone,
    How would you define true love?

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