People say mean things, how we deal with them is what separates us. Several things I have learned and try to practice on a daily basis allows me to keep my sanity, dwell on the positive and positively influence those around me. That list, although not inclusive, is as follows:
- Don’t get angry, you are merely reinforcing their actions
- Don’t retaliate or rebuke them, it only fuels their anger
- Don’t hide from the truth, it hurts sometimes, but it is the truth
- Everyone has prejudices, theirs happens to be against you
- Don’t allow the offender to steal your joy
- Agree with them, they won’t know how to act
- Don’t try and change their mind, it was made up long ago
- Accept that you cannot please them
- Do be kind to them, they will leave you alone
I recall a saying my grandfather used regularly. “Son, don’t let ‘em get your goat!” I used to think he was talking about a real goat, something tangible, but I realized later that he was talking about my emotions. He was telling me to not allow others to influence my emotions in a bad way. It was several years after his death before I understood exactly what he was talking about. Now some 30 years later, I can reflect upon those words and offer the only bit of advice I know how. If someone tries to get your goat, it is best you not let them know when they are close to it, else they will continue. If they get too close, move it. Only you can choose how to react to a situation. Mastery is difficult, and you will never get it perfect without a lobotomy, but over time it becomes easier.
It is your joy, don’t let someone steal it from you!
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Wednesday, December 17th, 2008 (url)
K,
Well said…
All of these states of mind are not always easy to practice, and maintain, however, they are certainly good attitudes to work toward; for our own sake.
It is somewhat like faith; even people that believe in God, struggle with faith issues, at different points in their lives; and some people work their entire life to obtain it, but never quite get there.
Thank you,
Mark